Twenty-four years ago today, I was in Duluth, MN putting on a white tuxedo. I didn't have any kids. I had no idea who Jenny Bellew, my daughter, was. She didn't exist. I had no idea I would have a son named Seth. Frankly, I think I hardly knew Becky.
A year before we got married, we were just friends who had nice conversations while working. We worked together in the college cafeteria. I was dating another girl. Actually, I was engaged to be married. I used to confide with Becky that my fiancee and I argued all the time. We argued about stupid stuff - every day. I remember telling Becky that I don't want to grow old with a woman who I argue with all the time. Honestly, at the time, I only thought of Becky as a friend. As we were talking, a mutual friend over heard our conversation. She was a short little Mexican woman. She said "Kenny, the Bible says perfect love casts out all fear. If you constantly have fear, this is not perfect love."
Wow, she was right. My girlfriend and I called off the wedding and broke up. A while later, I was trying to figure out what I wanted in a relationship. I wanted someone who was intelligent. I wanted someone I could talk to without constant bickering. I wanted conversation.
I was in my dorm talking to Becky's brother, and I was recounting to him my thoughts on the perfect relationship. I remember saying, "I really want someone like Becky." Of course, it didn't take too long to connect the dots. The only thing better than someone like Becky- was Becky.
I realized this around October and we would be married the following June. One of our first dates was a trip to the capital building in downtown St.Paul (I know- sooooo romantic). I gathered up my courage to reach over and take Becky's fingers to hold hands as we walked. When I took her hand, I got so dizzy, we actually had to slow down for a minute.
So, there I was in Duluth, MN- pulling white dress socks up my ankles and slipping into rented white shoes. In just a few minutes, I would repeat a tradition millions of couples experience to express their love and commitment to each other. I'm joining a club. It's the married people club. Sometimes, these things don't work. What was I getting into?
The preacher said, "You may kiss the bride." I lifted Becky's veil and I kissed her for the first time. We kept on kissing. Today, it's 24-years later. I wish we were kissing right now.
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